Who’s the Boss?

Who’s the Boss?

As an engineer, I learned many important formulas;
F = ma tau = F/A k.e. = ½ m.v.2
W = m.g. A = π • r2

But for life, I have discovered a much more valuable formula.
E + R = O
Where E is the Events of our life. R is our Response to those events. O is the Outcome of E + R.
Now E, the events of our life, is out of our control. We cannot prevent the drunken driver from crossing the median into our lane of traffic. We cannot prevent the government’s actions from sinking us into a recession.
But we do have our control over R, our Response to those events. If we are driving defensively, instead of texting on our phone, we have already detected the erratic driving of the car approaching us, and have started taking corrective measures. Our Response to the Event, will determine the Outcome.

Sometimes our R needs to be reactive, rather than proactive, as in avoiding an accident.
For example, say a very close friend, or relative, has wronged you. Anyone could see they were at fault, not you. But it has put a serious, perhaps terminal, strain upon your relationship. Rather than leave it up to them, while you sit steaming, pouting, and suffering from the lost friendship, you should take the higher ground. Swallow your pride, go to that person, and apologize for anything you might have done. I did this myself with a close relationship. Although I was wronged, I went to the person, someone very close, and told them I was sorry that I let a financial failure stand in the way of me being the person they deserved to have as a friend.


Now the person can either take the apology, and the relationship can continue, or they can decline, but leave you knowing that you did all you could.

Either way, you win.

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About Jerry Haynes

OK, where do I start. I was born…., no that line has already been taken.Call me…, oops so has that one. Well, I won’t attempt to spout musical prose, and just be myself. I grew up in the small cotton mill town of Fries, VA. My parents were hardworking members of the middle class. They never earned more than a little over minimum wage, but I can never remember lacking for anything. After graduating from Fries High School in 1969, I started to VA Tech. After two years of partying (1st), going to movies (2nd), and studying, well, much further down the list, VA Tech decided I need a two year break to get my priorities straight. With a number 8 in the draft lottery, I knew that even if the Hokies didn’t want me, Uncle Sam did. I joined the US Navy. I got my priorities straight. I’m proud to be a Viet Nam veteran, but feel guilty I never got deployed. I graduated from Tech in 1977 with a BS in Civil Engineering. For the next 35 years I would work in both the private and public sectors. My first job took me to Tazewell County, Virginia where I soon joined the Jaycees. This ignited my passion for individual development. This passion still burns today.

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[…] February 16, 2013 blog was titled “Who’s the Boss?”  In it I point out the importance of taking control of your life, especially your emotions.  […]

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